Stewardship, Not Ownership.
A steward is someone that takes care of something that is owned by someone else. You were stewards to your aunt’s and uncle’s dogs while they were away. Their family was deeply concerned that we do a good job taking care of something they cared about a lot. In much the same way, we are stewards of our own lives.
On your sister’s birthday, you heard me tell her that her life is not just her own, but that it belongs to the many people who love her and depend upon her. The same applies to you. Your life decisions are deeply intertwined with the people who love you. Whether we like it or not, our failures will impact them as will our successes. So, the attitude that we should have about our lives is one of stewardship, not ownership. Each of us should treat our own lives in much the same way. We would want the people that we love to take good care of their lives and make the best decisions. It would hurt us deeply if they didn’t. We should do the same for them.
You’ve heard that my grandpa, committed suicide when he was about my age. I’m sure he was going through things that he thought were insurmountable, but of course, he was wrong. He made a short-sighted and selfish decision that didn’t consider those who depended on him. He ended up abandoning his wife, three daughters, as well as others in the community who relied on him and cared about his successes and failures. My grandma, was left with debts and little chance of supporting her daughters. I’m told that she probably turned to illegal and immoral means of getting money. Now, I don’t blame this on my grandpa — each of us is accountable for the decisions we make in life — but I doubt she would have even been faced with that horrible option had her husband been around. My grandpa’s life was not his own. It belonged to his wife and his kids, and siblings, and cousins, and friends, to me, and to you. His life belonged to God. He either couldn’t see those people, or he ignored them, or he thought they would be better off without him. If so, he was wrong.
The topic here isn’t suicide. The topic is: making the best decisions in your life, not just for you, but for those around you.
Worship of Self
Making decisions with only (or mostly) yourself in mind is called Hedonism. Dictionaries will define this word as “the prioritization of pleasure above all else” or something like that. That’s a good description, but fundamentally it is the worship of yourself. You become the center of your own life, because “who else really matters?”
Does that sound silly? People do it all the time. Have you heard people say, “you do you”? Or talk about “finding myself”? Or “I have to be true to myself.” Sometimes they mean good things when they say these things. Maybe they’re saying, I don’t understand, but you have a right to make your own decisions or I have to find out what the best decision is for my life. But too often, these sayings have become popular ways of justifying a revived obsession with one’s own pleasure. They also belie decisions that prioritize what you want over how those decisions impact everyone else around them.
Don’t prioritize yourself over those around you. You have a duty to those around you.
Make the Best Decisions
There is a great talk by a Mormon apostle that was titled “Good, Better, Best.” I don’t remember much of what he said (it was many years ago) but the general idea is that there are tiers of good decisions. Why not aim for the best decisions? In other words, don’t justify your decisions by saying “it isn’t that bad.” When you say this, you’ve conceded that it’s not the best decision. You’re not even arguing that it’s even a good decision! You’re arguing that “it’s not that bad.” That’s a pretty bad argument. Make the best decisions for your life.
Playing video games, or scrolling your phone, or sitting in your room for an hour a day isn’t that bad, but you really couldn’t argue that it’s the best decision. There are better uses of your time. You could start a hobby. You could read a book. You could help someone in the house. You could learn a trade.
Set Goals
I’m not arguing that you should be perfect or never take breaks or stop playing all video games. I’m arguing that you should do something great with your overall aim. Set short-term and long-term goals that are great! What do you want to do in the next 6 months that would be great? The next year? Two years? Before you graduate? Be explicit about what you want to accomplish and see how close you can get!